Celebrating New Year Eve

It's probably too late to talk about new year eve. It is already January 25. But, after I recover my blog *I could not open it for quite some times* this is the first topic I would like to write. This topic brings me all the way back to December 31 last year, when my friends and I were planning on our new year eve party. The three of us, were sitting in a couch, thinking "what should we do?"

Last year, my friend and I spend our new year eve in my boarding house. We cooked some meals and ate them together. The food was delicious and we were having so much fun. We were watching the fireworks from the streets. There were a lot of fireworks, beautiful fireworks. And I took some pictures using my phone.

Here is the picture of the meals we cooked :D

So, this year we planned on doing something different. We would like to have a memorable night, some interesting event different from last year. So, we decided to dine in a mall and spend the new year eve there. We went to the mall early to avoid traffic jam. When we arrived, we went to a restaurant and started eating. After that, we were just walking around when I notice something. The place was rather quite, not many people were there. I was questioning why, this mall is usually so crowded with people in every events, so why not today? So, I decided to asked the security.

To our surprise, the security staff said that there would be no new year celebration here, because the mall was currently under some renovation. Such a heart breaking news! I was so sad, I wanted to do something, I wanted to spent the new year eve happily with my friends, it that too much to ask?

At this point, we had nothing to do, so we decided to stay, hoping that we can see the fireworks from the mall. I was so shocked when the restaurant where we were spending our time kicked us out because they were closing. I was like "this is freaking new year eve, can't you open up longer?"

I was mad so i asked my friends to go home instead. With the thought of this night could not get any worse, I turned my laptop on and took it to the living room, when my friends were waiting. We were just watching some Youtube videos and surfing on the internet when suddenly I heard a loud murmur from the crowd outside. It was my neighborhood, so I decided to join. There were also my flatmates there. We were chatting and greeting each other.

The counting started, the fireworks launched. Some jokes cracked, and some laughs heard. I started to think that probably it was not so bad, spending the new year eve this way. Well, at least I got to know more of my neighbors, and made some new friends. I was mesmerized by the fireworks, when one of my flatmates asked my why did not I take any pictures. I simply said I had a lot of fireworks picture from the last new year eve celebration.

I was startled from what I said. Yes, I did have a lot of fireworks picture in my phone. They were not much different from the fireworks I was seeing at that time. Nothing's changed. This thought escalated really quickly, until I was in a deep thought of what has changed and has not changed. I glanced at my friend, this has not changed, there were pictures in my head, about my friend and I spending time together, laughing and talking nonsense. I love it, I love our togetherness, it is priceless.

Then I realized, it was not the place, or the meals that made an event memorable. It was the people. It was my friends, who were laughing beside me, that made me feel that this night was not so bad. It was my friends that made me realized that we can be anywhere, doing anything, but as long as we were together, we will definitely be happy. After 7 years together, I just realized it that time. Perhaps, because I was taking it for granted. I was so stupid. For having such precious friends, it is something to be thankful of, is it not? :)

It's Heavy not Easy

I still remember, back in the good old days of High School, I had a fight with my bestfriend. It was bad and sad. I was having a hard time. We were fighting because of, I think ideology. Well, as my bestfiend I expected her to always be on my side. One day, I was mocked by my classmate, I wanted her to stand for me but she didn't. Instead she made it worse. I was so angry at her.

The problem solved few days later. We couldn't stand hating each other and finally broke the ice. We said sorry and hugged each other, we were crying and everyone else watching. The boys said "oh girls, why were you even fighting in the first place huh?" We laughed, case closed :)

In the middle of third grade, I was having a what-so-I-thought-a-deadly-ploblem with a girl in my class. Well, at that time, the problem seemed too hard to be handled, but if I thought about it now, it was, silly. We were fighting over a boy *I know right? I got the boy and she got the woe.

It was quite serious. The whole classmate knew about it and there was time when our fight got really worse. Like, in times when the teacher put us in the same group, it was so tense. I didn't like it, made everyone uncomfortable. My friend then thought of something. So, near the final examination, all the girls were sitting together in the class, like in a meeting. No boys are involved, we kicked them out from the class. In the meeting, we came to the fact that anyone actually had problem with others, it wasn't only about me and that girl. There was tears and confession, but after all, everything was clear. No one had any grudge anymore. I believe that was great, I meant, it was great that we can be honest, apologized, and forgiving before we went separated after the graduation.

Now, in college, another problem occurred. Yes, I knew that problem would always follow you, no matter where you are. This time, it was just hard. Maybe because I wrote this when I am facing it. Maybe I would consider it silly someday. What I knew was that, this problem couldn't be solved by sorry or hugs or gathering people together. This is way more complicated. These people are what's-so-called-haters this day. they just hate you no matter what you did. I haven't got any idea how to solve it. I don't know what to do.

Well, as it's said, Life goes on and gets so heavy not easy. So I guess this is what it takes of being alive. If it hurts, it means that we are human, not zombie. I believe, this problem will mature me and shape me into a better girl, probably a woman ;)

I Can't Figure It Out

Kenali musuhmu, katanya.

Adakah alat pendeteksi musuh ini?

Mereka yang tersenyum didepan, menertawakan dibelakang

Mereka yang peduli dan sayang dalam kata, namun membenci dalam hati

Yang berbagi di waktu dekat dan memaki di waktu jauh

Aku melihat maaf dan menyesal ada disana

Menunggu.

Yah, aku memang tidak pantas mendapatkan keduanya

Aku hanyalah seonggok otak dan inangnya

Yang keberadaannya sesaat

Cerita yang akan berlalu.

The Black Sheep

I was eating with some friends, in a well-known fast food restaurant in the city. Everything was fine, we had small talk about the weather, college and homework. Our purpose was not merely to have a fine lunch there, but to get free WiFi connection *WiFi hunter detected* We wanted to download movies.

It was raining, cats and dogs. The WiFI connection was so bad, we couldn't even log on. So then, we exchanged some movies, and waited until the rain stop so we could go home. We kept trying with the connection but it was hopeless.

My friend then asked me something. From the way she said it and her expression, I knew that it was a serious matter. And I was right, a very serious matter indeed. and I. WAS. SHOCKED!! so shocked. but, before I continue, let's go somewhere else, in a different time, where everything began.

We - my classmate and I - were just back from our holiday. Another term another trouble, rite? It was in the very beginning our 5th semester, in Interpreting class when my lecturer said something that brought us all to shock. She said that she knew some of us bad mouthed her on Twitter and Facebook group. Those who involved were panic. But not me, because I didn't say a word about anyone on Twitter or Facebook. So I was clear from this.

She said, "I've been on the internet longer before you even familiar with computer" What I got was that she didn't need anyone to tell her about anything. She figured it out by herself. And I didn't even think about one of us reported it to her. I meant how could he/she? betrayed her/his friend like that? But you know what? I was so naive.

Back to the date when I was talking with my friend. She said, " There was a rumor, saying that you are the one that reported us to the lecturer. Is that true?" I was so shocked. I told her that I wanted to laugh. And I laughed. I told her that it wasn't me, at all. She said, the evidence was that I was once called into her room. And I said, yes. But then I said, that doesn't make sense at all. it's not like she's the only one owned that room. that's a shared room, there was four lecturers' cubicle there. And I went there because I was called by the other lecturer. That evidence was a total fail. And how could everyone believed it? My friends told me that they didn't believe it, and I was so thankful.

You know why I laughed before? because of my stupidity. I laughed at myself. because all that time, I kept thinking, what's wrong with me? what wrong did I do? All I know was that, not longer after our lecturer saying that, everyone hated me, they just hated me. I didn't know why. I knew some of them had been talking bad about me on Twitter, but I didn't know why. So I stayed quite. Didn't want to cause more trouble than what I somehow had already done unconsciously. But still, I kept thinking, trying to find the reason but I just couldn't find it. I was so sad. I felt so excluded

And I think this is unfair. This is so unfair. because I've tried so hard to please them, my friends. I tried so hard just to be accepted. And now, all those hard works are no longer considered, not matters at all because of a mistake, a mistake that I didn't do. That's not fair, right? And I'm gonna do something about it. I won't stay quite anymore!!

How Embarrassing!!

Nifa: "Lia, let's go to the class"

Me: "Okay!"

It was around 12 PM when Nifa asked me to go back to the class. The class started at 01.10 PM, but we head back earlier because she said she was so sleepy and wanted to take a little nap in the class, I agreed. And so we left the canteen and went to the class. Before we enter the class, I saw that our lecturer was already there. I was surprised and thought whether we were late. I opened the door!

I opened the door just a second before I realized that it wasn't my class. It was the other class which should be ended soon. OH MY GOD!!!! Am I that ignorant so that I don't remember my class mate? No! I saw a girl, we had same classes together. But the fact is, tho sometimes she join my classes, we're from different class. I am class B and she's class A.

The good thing was that I haven't entered the class just yet. When I opened it and saw lots of different faces, I close the door immediately. The lecturer didn't aware of my sudden presence as well as the rest of the class. We walked away, entered the other class and burst into laugh. I was so embarrassed and Nifa kept laughing at me.